And Now For The Latest Anatomy Lesson

Flag football is underway for Tyler. They are learning the basics and the coach has only been teaching them one side of the ball at a time in practice. Tyler had been on defense for all three practices, until the last 20 minutes of the last practice, because the offense was short one guy. He promptly caught a short pass and took it about 70 yards for a score. He later got a hand-off and did the same thing. The coach suddenly realized what he had on his hands, and on Saturday, Tyler played both sides of the ball, but mainly on offense. However, his team (him included) was not ready for their much larger and more prepared opponent. They got crushed. They don’t keep track of the score in this league, but it was probably 63-7; tough day. Tyler did break off one great run for the length of the field. It looked as though his flags were about to fall the entire run. And then, literally, a step before the goal-line they fell to the ground. The rule is if they fall, you’re down. It didn’t matter that he had already run well past every player on the other team, they still called him down. He then, got in two plays later (according to our coach who was on the field), but the other team grabbed his flag and threw it behind the line. The refs stood their not sure what to do, and in the end called him down again. So he never officially scored a touchdown. Oh well, that’s the breaks. His run was fun to watch, anyways.

Game two: Well, on a whole, the team was much improved, but again they faced a better prepared and much larger opponent. It is supposed to be 7-9 year-olds, but I would like to see some of these kids’ birth certificates. They were huge. But anyways, the team scored three times, which was three times as many as last week, so that was improvement. They also stopped the other team a couple times. I don’t know what the final would have been, but Tyler scored two touchdowns, and the first one was from his own 10 yard line (his other was about 15-yarder), so it was a lot of fun to watch. Carol got both of his TDs on video, plus his awkward somersault after he was laid out while playing defense by a much, much larger kid, who put a great block on him. All good stuff and good preparation for him if he’s going to play tackle, which he still says he wants to do, even after that hit.

Other happenings: Bailey has earned so many Image Eagle tickets (a program at her school for positive behavior) that she earned a certificate and a coupon for a free kids’ meal at Taco Bell, which we redeemed today. Throw in the free Chalupa coupons from the Blazers’ game a couple weeks ago, and we got a free lunch for the family courtesy of the Bell. Now that’s thinking outside the bun.

On to the latest funnies, which may be for a PG-13 audience. ;-)

Tyler and I were getting ready to go to his first football practice and Bailey and Trevin wanted to go, to. As Carol was bundling them up, she said: “You guys need to stay where Dad can see you. You can’t run around wild. And listen to dad.” Trevin then sincerely asked: “Can we run in a circle?”

OK, are you ready for some more fun in the bathroom? Trevin was on the potty, while Tyler and Caden were taking a bath. Tyler was just about done, when Carol noticed a peculiar look on Caden’s face. She quickly said: “Tyler get out, get out!” He wondered what was wrong and hesitated. “Get out, just get out!” He did, and sure enough, it was just in the nick of time. Now, for those who have seen Bee Movie (our kids have watched it at least 20 times), you might recognize this. Trevin, upon seeing Caden’s dirty work, yelled: “Ahhh, poo water!” Oh the joys of kids in the bathroom.

Our little princess let one go at the dinner table for all to hear one evening. She and Trevin were both rubbing their fingers in their soup bowls at the same time. So I told them to keep their fingers out of their bowls, then Tyler added, speaking to Bailey: “And you keep your tooters in your bum.” I said: “Well, you can’t do that. It will hurt your stomach.” Bailey, who sits on her knees and consequently her feet, at the table, then said: “Yeah; and it keeps my feet warm. And it keeps my hands warm, when they’re under there.”

Sorry for this one in advance, but it was just too funny not to share. We were watching one of my Michael’s (my brother) many home music videos. There is a spot where Ashley (his wife) and Madison (daughter) are dancing on their bed. Ashley does a kick move, and the kids always think she is kicking Madison because of the angle of the shot. Well, Trevin was watching it again the other day and said “Ashley just kicked Maddie in the Willard.” I questioned: “Ashley just kicked Maddie, where?” He repeated: “In the Willard.” I said “buddy, girls don’t have willards.” He said, “Yeah.” I then reiterated: “Nope, they don’t.” He asked, “Then, where do they go pee at?” Carol and I couldn't control the laughter. While we were carrying on, and with a smile on his face, he calmly advised: “Put that on the blog.”

We were driving home from piano lessons and went by SEH, where Grandma used to work. I pointed it out and Trevin asked which grandma? I told him Grandma Shirts worked there for a long time. Then Bailey said, “yeah, then she graduated.”

Bailey and I were doing some home-made valentines and she was kind of doing things out of order with the glue and cutting. I said, “Bailey, you should have put the glue on the other side of the paper.” She replied, “I know, I wasn’t thinking.” Then pointing to her head, added: “My brain wasn’t working.”

Tyler came home from school on the day his class had their Valentine’s Day party and started to go through his loot. He pulled out one card and didn’t really want us to see it. He just said: “I’m so throwing this away.” We said “what is it?” He stopped on his way to the trash, and then held it up. It was a “High School Musical” valentine.

My brother uses the song “Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard,” (http://www.spike.com/video/paul-simon-me-julio/2863122) in one of his home music videos, and there is a line in the song that says: “Goodbye to Rosie, the queen of Corona; Seeing me and Julio Down by the schoolyard”. So Tyler was singing the song the other day and doing his best on what he thinks it says. When he got to that part he said: “singing king of Moroni; Singing me and Julio down by the schoolyard.” We asked him about it and he said, “Well he says something about Moroni.” Good to see the gospel influence in his life.